angi’s blog

So I was reading my blog about how I hated 2007 blah blah blah and I realized that I had been carrying around the last year of my life like a dirty old security blanket or something. I was taking comfort in my pain and almost enjoying feeling sorry for myself…it was easier for me to live in the misery (alot of it I created myself) I had known for so long as opposed to being confident in what that future holds for Stella and I. The whole month of december all I could talk about was how I couldn’t wait for this year to be over as if on January 1st 2008 all my problems and insecurities were gonna disappear…not true. Same old story same old issues…IM TIRED OF THE SAME OLD STORY…

I was recently hanging out with a friend of mine (that hasn’t know me for very long but knows my situation) who several times while we were talking about whatever noticed that on most topics, I had some sad story to follow it up with. IM SICK OF THE SAD STORY. Dont get me wrong 2007 was a rough year but my broken heart, bruised confidence, and the occasional plague of loneliness don’t define who I am but those experiences are just helping mold me into the woman, mother, and lover that I desire to be. So in a sense that conversation is now a turning point in my mind and in my perception life and people and all that stuff…so in the famous words of Kanye West…“Everything I’m Not, Made Me Everything I Am”…Im gonna walk away with that and that alone.

2007 I am letting you go…

I am putting you on the shelf with the rest of the chapters of my life, I will look back, probably not fondly, but I will look back and remember how 2007 was a crucial year in my life but it wasn’t forever…heres to 2008!

I have amazing friends and a FANTASTIC family, if it wasn’t for them I really don’t know where I would be…please don’t leave my life I NEED you

Thursday, October 18, 2007

2007 can suck it!
Current mood: calm

2007 has been the worst/best year of my life. But let me just say that I am not sad to see it go…December 31st come quickly. I lost alot that was important to me but gained so much at the same time. Things that I thought could never be removed from me were torn from my hands leaving me ashamed and broken, fortunately when you hit rock bottom the only to go is UP! With the help of a God that has been faithful even though I was faithless at times and and some good solid support from family and love and encouragement from an amazingly beautiful group of people spanning from redlands to OC to LA.I have been able to take one day at a time and move through my pain and grief. I beleive that I am beginning to come “out of the other end of the tunnel” a bit but not ignorant enough to beleive that this next year will be a breeze…actually from what Ive heard it only gets harder. Im choosing to let this mold me and shape me into the woman and mother God desires me to be…although I have hit some bumps along the way and I am sorry to any Ive hurt out of my pain. Through all of this I have been able to see who Angi is again…for so long I had forgotten because I was allowing other peoples actions or ideas of me affect me and my goal to be the best Angi that I can be. I will be forever changed by 2007…2008 has something great for me…I can feel it

Currently listening :
Southern Weather
By The Almost
Release date: 03 April, 2007