javs blog

So the owner of my salon’s wife decided I had to leave the salon a week early, and crossed my name off of all the books and gave my clients to other stylists. Some without even telling the clients what the deal was.

I went in today to clean out my locker. The owner either didn’t know what his wife did or was good at pretending.

I packed up my shit, said goodbye to one person, and headed out. On the way out she said “hey bud”. My response?

“Hey. FUCK YOU”

And I kept walking.

On my way to orientation. Yes, I am blogging in traffic again.

Like Johnny Cash says in “sunday morning coming down”… “then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes and found my cleanest dirty shirt” or as Morrissey said “I haven’t got a stitch to wear”. I am probably going to have to look presentable more often now. No more jeans, tshirt, and vans to work.

So I put on a pair of black pants, a gray and black striped shirt, a black tie, some of my favorite socks, and a pair of black shoes.

The pants are frayed across the bottoms from being too long.
The shirt is OK but whatever.
The tie is kinda bent from being in my closet in a bag.
The shoes have holes in the sides from being so old. They are creeper sneakers. Kinda like creepers but with regular shoe bottoms. My real creepers broke in half. I guess I could try and get those fixed.

My point is, I look shabby. I need to work on it.

Sometimes you just gotta ask yourself “self, why are you standing in line in front of macy’s at 8:37am on a saturday just to get a stupid giftcard?”

Haven’t been writing much of anything lately. Just haven’t had words.

I love the band RINGWORM. If they came out here and played, I’d probably hurt myself. The new record VENOMOUS GRAND DESIGN is probably the most angry record I’ve EVER fucking heard. Honestly.

I’m not voting. As dave peters said, “if you are uninformed, stay home”. Ill probably be home, hanging curtains or something.

People have noticed my absence from certain events lately, and I use the excuse of hanging curtains a lot. I probably was to be honest. I’ve hung a lot of curtains this months. I’ve got a lot of windows. And I just don’t like going outside much.

Except the swap meet, and target, and macys.

just heard my friend andrew talking to someone else about why hes been sober lately.

he said “i just dont wanna miss anything with my kid right now. what if he wants me to read a book and im all fucked up? i cant have that”

thats amazing, and that subconsciously has a lot to do with my sobriety. sure, it was initially ordered by a doctor. but i didnt HAVE to keep it up. i want to. i havent had a drink since april 20th.

I’m fat. Not like John Candy/ Chris Farley fat, but I’m getting big. When Devin was born, I weighed 215 pounds. I wore a size 36 and large shirts. I hated myself. I dedicated my life to losing weight. I went to the gym every day, ate well, and dropped down to 165 within about 4 months. I went to a size 32 and could get into size small shirts.

Now, since I’ve stopped smoking and drinking, I’ve been more interested in eating. I’m into food. I love it. And living in a studio, without a kitchen, I had to pretty much eat out every meal.

Now, I’m almost 190 pounds, starting to bust out of medium shirts, but can still wear size 33 pants. Barely.

I’m also aware of the fact that I’m 31 years old, have two jobs and have a 6 year old 5 days a week. I don’t have time to “work out”. I can’t say I’m comfortable with my new weight, but I guess it could be worse.

Completely moved out of my studio today. Kicked up so much dust that my nose has closed itself off. I can barely breathe. Should make for an interesting sleep.

I love BLOODLET. One of my all time favorite bands. I’m waiting for devin to get out of school, and the song “cpai-75″ just came on. I always wondered where the title came from and then one day I saw it written on the tag of a sleeping bag. I think its some sort of fire protection code. Weird. I want to do a bloodlet cover band.

I’ve never ever moved into an apartment that needed so much work. I spent sunday hanging curtains to cover the fucked up blinds or on the windows with no blinds at all. Drilling is harder than it looks. I also started hanging towel racks and toilet paper holders. There wasn’t one of either in the house. How weird is that?

Trying to book DISEMBODIED to play here. Emailed Sean Ingram this morning to try and get COALESCE on the show too, or just to get them here at all. At first he said he’d love to, and gave me a time frame, then said they don’t “draw well” out here, then said Jes is having his FOURTH kid in december, and it would take a miracle to get them here.

I’d say my main motivation for wanting to get these bands out here is selfishness. I want to see them. For myself. Rot, you bastard.