I have never bought porn.
I have never owned or paid for a magazine or video. I have only been to two strip clubs in my life.
I just don’t care. Its just not my thing.
I have of course seen it, and I don’t necessarily think its wrong. I just don’t need it.
How can you possibly listen to Bob Marley and not be put in a good mood?
I woke up at 6:22 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had troubled sleep all night, waking up from weird/bad dreams. I tried to go back to sleep, but terrible, awful things appeared in my mind that wouldn’t allow it.
On tuesday my grandma asked me how I liked my new job. I told her that I was still trying to get used to it, and that so far I honestly didn’t like it that much.
She said, “well bill (her husband) worked at PNM (new mexico’s version of sdg&e) for 30 years and hated it the entire time. Sometimes in life you just have to do things you don’t want to”
Is that what I’m resigned to? To be in a job that I don’t love?
Yesterday Erakuh was talking about how people used to get married really young and STAY married. Was it the same as the way they viewed jobs? That they just stayed there because they felt they had to?
Andrew told me that I have a shitty attitude, and that I need to face the world with a smile, and act like everything is ok, then go back home and hate the world.
I’ve never wanted to live like that, but I’m slowly finding out that this is what adulthood is all about.
in no particular order-
fleece blanket
ipod alarm clock
vans
flannel
plaid
hoodie
vampire books
coach keychain
vans watch
polaroid film
box of socks
underwear
handmade ornaments
electric toothbrush
razors
chanel cologne
bed
300 count sheets
amazing morning. breakfast, presents… dev got good stuff. erakuh got good stuff. everyone is happy. going to eat and movies later.
this was the first year that i can remember in a looooooong time that i actually was excited for xmas, and it totally met all expectations and then some.
as tim allen says “santa DELIVERS”
As I write this I am getting my hair put into corn rows.
I want to write a top ten list of 2008. Ill get on that soon.
Its christmas eve. I’m actually really excited about christmas. Maybe because I actually have a lot of presents to give. Devin is finally old enough to really want good stuff.
I’m stoked on having a sidekick and being in contact via internet with old friends.
I was ok when I woke up. A little groggy. Just kinda hard to get outta bed.
I was fine when I went to the bathroom and took a shower, the same as I do every morning.
Making a peanut butter and honey sandwich wasn’t bad. Didn’t make coffee like I normally do.
Left some notes for erakuh. Finished getting ready and left. Listened to Reign Supreme and Ringworm, as usual.
Got to work, and within 30 minutes, wanted to throw or kick something. Completely annoyed by everyone. Unmotivated and just plain grumpy. Just wanna crawl back into a comfy bed with the space heater aimed at our feet.
Back to sleep to redream me.
I’ve been a teacher for almost 5 years now. I’ve got a backpack full of thank you notes and cards. Have I EVER given someone who’s graduating a card saying “great job, you made it, I’m proud of you”?
No. Never.
Why is that? Is it that I don’t care? Absolutely not. If I didn’t care I wouldn’t be here. I’m not here for glory or money because honestly I don’t get too much of either of those.
Truthfully I don’t have an answer. Guess ill have to just think some more.
my hands are cold. its raining. i need a manicure.
10 days til xmas. not quite ready.
havent been writing. have had plenty of time to write, just havent been.
ive had this urge to throw something when im upset lately.
thats it.
I’m writing this while sitting on a dryer. The warmth and hum are soothing.
Awoken thursday at 645 to my mom calling to tell me that papa was dead.
My grandfather was old. He had been a sailor in his youth, and in his last days had thought for a while that he was living on a boat.
I haven’t been quite right since. Its not that everything is falling apart, per se, because it definitely isnt THAT bad. But I’m stressed right the fuck out.
My life is a series of lyrics. Everything I think has been thought before.
“I’m sailin on”
I did it.
My persistance paid off. My idea of “hey, disembodied should play here” went from “yeah we will see ” to “ok tickets go on sale tonight”.
I did it. Me.
But not alone. Wanna hear my acceptance speech?
I’d like to thank Tara Johnson, for listening to me. For putting up with my weird breed of friendship and superfandom. For being open, and for being a real fucking person.
I’d like to thank Andy Serrano, for believing from day fucking one that Disembodied would be a success in playing here again. For making it work.
I’d like to thank Adrian Castillo, for giving me feedback.
I’d like to thank Michael Hellfish, for laughing with me, for listening to my crazy ideas. For hustling amidst technical failures.
I’d like to thank Erakuh, for listening to me say “I’m getting Disembodied to play here” countless times. She finally gets to see one of the top five bands she missed.
I wish I could say my reasons for booking this show weren’t selfish. Really, I just wanted to see one of my favorite bands, in my own backyard. Playing with them wasn’t my idea. But its happening, and I can’t wait.
