So here we go. Here’s another rant for your ass. I know you don’t care, and neither does anybody else.

I am so fucking sick of retarded chicks. Not like, literally retarded, itt: physically / mentally handicapped. I’m talking about those stupid freaking preppy chicks who talk about nothing but Myspace, scene bands, and hot guys. You know the kind. The ones who wear some awesome band T-Shirt, and turn out to just like the shirt. The only time those chicks will go out with anyone is
A. If they’re scene
B. If they’re scene
C. If they’re scene and hot.

Hey, guess what? I really don’t fucking care about Sonny Moore leaving From First to Last. That band sucked the cock once they were formed, and will continue to suck the cock until they wither and die. Unfortunately, the whiny hardcore kid scene isn’t looking bleak yet. It will die, just like Converse did, back in the day. Do you remember that? When everybody and their grandmothers were wearing fucking CONVERSE? Everybody does, nobody likes to talk about it, because if people found out, oh no, you just lost your friend base. I really don’t care. Please go kill yourself for everybody’s sake.

Yeah, not only that, but there’s this fucking annoying Mexican chick in my Bio class. Wow, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve wanted to slit her fucking throat, I’d be a fucking millionaire.

Unfortunately, I’m a good kid and won’t kill anybody. Not because I’m afraid, but just because I don’t want to get all up ons in legal trouble.

Situation: Biology - Day after Halloween.
Terry’s eating a lollipop. Right, everybody brings candy day after Halloween, blah, blah, blah. Stupid-ass mexican chick keeps complaining about her hunger. She won’t shut the fuck up. At this point, both Terry and I wanted to stomp her face in. She asks Terry for some candy. Sure, why not, etc., etc., she gets a lollipop. Finishes in in approximately 2 seconds, and asks for more. I call her a mooch, and she displays that good old Mexican intellect:
“I don’t even know whut dat means, yo.”
CONGRATULATIONS! You’re a fucking dumbass and deserve to be shipped the fuck back! I start to explain what it is, and her comeback was actually really good. It had the impact, shock, and sting of a cancered panda hitting me with a blow-up hammer.
“Whatever that is, your mom is.”
Holy shit, instant classic. I can’t believe the intensity of that comeback! That was the best one I’ve heard in a long time. How long did it take her to formulate such a burn?

I tell her her comeback was fantastic.
She tells me to shut up, and tells me that I’m a comeback.

I reply with, “If you want my come back, get it off of your mom’s face.”

I win.

Unfortunately, I feel bad about posting nothing.

And without making this ‘Personal,’ nothing will get done.

So - Anyway, onto the epic fail and terribleness.

There’s this guy that my ex introduced me to. First impressions are extremely positive. We have an entire conversation in internet memes, ranging from FUCK YEAH SEAKING to the entire Shoop Da Whoop thing. It was around here when I said I was Straight Edge. I believe I typed:

ToxicTheHedgehog: Yeah, but no, I’m sxe

A few minutes later, absolutely no lie -

SomeFuckingDouchebag: so yea u smoke rite?

This guy lost so much respect from me with that comment, you don’t even know. I could form an entire new planet, complete with sentient lifeforms, with the negative respect this guy just earned from me.

Blah, blah, kinda mad because he thought sXe meant ’sexy.’ Eventually gets up to the point that we’re talking about music.

ToxicTheHedgehog: So what kind of music do you lsiten to?
ToxicTheHedgehog: Listen*
SomeFuckingDouchebag: rock, some techno
ToxicTheHedgehog: So… does listen to the death metal?
SomeFuckingDouchebag: lol no it sucks
ToxicTheHedgehog: Right. Because techno is so completely technical, I mean, playing the same beat OVER and OVER, wow really epic…
SomeFuckingDouchebag: oh yeah?? well fuck your slipknot
ToxicTheHedgehog: What? I don’t even listen to Slipknot, you cocksucker. Go and die
ToxicTheHedgehog: Besides Slipknot sucks so I agree with you

It was at this point where I wanted to slit his throat and violently rape the wound.

SomeFuckingDouchebag: FUCK CANNIBAL CORPSE!!!!

Cannibal Corpse is my favorite band. Ever.

So, let’s recap - This asshole is a stoner, a Zeppelin-listener, and a major douche at me because I spit the truth.
And she wants me to hang out with him because he plays video games and is a /b/tard.

I could care fucking less, please go and die.

And yes, ToxicTheHedgehog is my actual AIM handle. Have fun with that.

The last 6 seconds of my bitch session of a tree.

Here it be.

Have fun, make fun, do fun.

EDIT: The video link no longer works. Ah, well.

I’m sorry for the lack of posts, but it’s really more about this blog becoming a watered-down personal blog with no real substance - and who wants to read that? The reason I haven’t been posting is because if I posted everyday, I would run out of stuff to bitch about - and I would be repeating myself, and that’s not good. So, here’s a few short little articles to keep you and your wives entertained while I cause some trouble.

10/28/07 - Am I That Sad?

Have I reached that terminal velocity where I can’t get any lower? I realize I sold out once I started listening to Fall Out Boy. But this… This is too much. And I actually enjoy it. I’m a disgrace to true metal-heads everywhere. You should really all kick my ass. This should make everyone hate me.
I really need to find my niche. I was just listening to Mayhem. Then I switched it to Hannah Montana. Nobody’s Perfect. It’s a good song. What the fuck? I really don’t know. I wish I did, too. People look at me weird when they’re scanning my iPod. It’s right at the point where I have Behemoth, Britney Spears, Cannibal Corpse, Daath, Fall Out Boy, Gorgasm, and Hannah Montana. And I’m pretty sure I’m offending every fan of every genre right now.”How can you do that? You’re not a real metalhead.” - I have no comeback to that statement. Perhaps I’m not. I don’t listen to Slipknot and I absolutely detest Korn - basically I hate all Nu-Metal. Static-X, I don’t feel should be lumped in as much as the rest - they still should, yeah, of course, but don’t they have some Industrial elements to their music?I really shouldn’t say shit like that, because someone else is going to be “WEL KORN HAS SOEM RAP INFLOEDCES IN THERE MUSIC SHUD THERE BE RAPP!!??”

Really, it’s a matter of opinion. I might not be a ‘true’ metalhead, but then again, what is? Is the Be All, End All (Oh, dropping those Anthrax references) metalhead one who listens to nothing but ‘Metal’? And if so, are they confined to what their preference is? Is a thrasher confined to Slayer and Testament? Is a black metaller confined to Gorgoroth or Belphegor? Is a death metaller confined to Carcass and Death Breath? Do ‘real’ death metallers even consider Death Breath ‘true’ death metal? And are they going to yell at me for saying Carcass is death metal when their early stuff was grindcore and that “a real death metaller would know that?”

This is what I don’t really understand about this subculture - They think I’m awesome because I can listen to anything. You know the type, “Wow, I love Marduk and Cannibal Corpse!” But the second they find something that’s not metal on there, they automatically ditch me. I might like DMX. Who the fuck are you to say I can’t? So maybe I’m not a real, true, pure metalhead. But it’s fucktards like those guys who make them such an unbearable crowd to be around anyway.

11/1/07 - Gangstas. + Yeah, Cuz Slipknot’s SO Gothic.

I am sick of people who act like thugs. Especially the black people. Please don’t take this racially, but I am just so sick of those people throwing away what their forefathers have worked so hard to obtain. The slaves worked harder than anyone else in that time period to show the rest of the world that African-Americans were NOT inferior to whites - or to anyone else for that matter - and that they, along with others who were being mistreated, should have equal rights protected under the constitution. But to see these young ‘Gangstas’ walking about with their underwear showing, it’s almost as if they’re trying to go in reverse and prove to us that they are, in fact, stupid. And because of the suffering their people have gone through, they use that as an excuse for everything they can’t do? In my World History class, an African-American someone who didn’t do their homework threw a fit and made a scene, claiming the teacher was picking on him because “he was black.” Yes, definitely, it’s the color of your skin and the way you talk, not the fact that you didn’t answer the 3 questions she asked of you. It didn’t help much that the teacher was white. He went on further to say that “the man was keeping him and his people down.” I’m sorry, but to be completely honest with you, it’s the black man that’s keeping the white man down. The minute any white person says anything that could be misconstrued as racist, the black man is all over him with the “What, What did you say?” It also makes me very mad how they can get away with calling others a very negative racial slur, which was extremely derogatory back when it was conceived, and the second someone else says it, you’re in trouble. Is that fair? Does it make sense? For instance - There is a black student union at my school. There’s a Mexican club, as well. Not to mention the Filipino, Chinese, or Japanese clubs. But we can’t make a white student union because it would be racist. Correct me if I’m mistaken, but doesn’t racism go both ways? Doesn’t smothering the white percentage of the student body also count as racism, and school-promoted racism at that? Ditch this bullshit.

The Slipknot Part Of My Rant Will Be Coming Soon.

Micromusic.net

It’s possibly the best thing ever. It’s a community where you don’t need to switch stupid pages or anything like that. It’s by nerds like us, for nerds like us. It’s made all with old systems, using their video-game sounds to make awesome fucking techno songs. Visit this site. It’s the best thing you’ll do. Seriously, you’ll think it’s lame, but oh my god, does it grow on you. You can listen to music, post on the forums, read people’s shout-outs, and discover new artists (albeit all in the Micromusic genre) all in the same place. Without loading a new page. It’s all integrated. And It’s fucking metal.

They also have a community builder which allows you to do the exact same thing with other ideas. I’m seriously considering buying it.

So, in short - Micromusic, Chiptunes, and anything that’s that far underground kicks ass.

Google ‘4×4′ by Ikuma. It’s one of my recent favorite songs. If you like it, please check out Nullsleep and Bit Shifter.

Yes, I sold out again and started upgrading my Firefox. I just got FoxyTunes, and that could be the best thing I’ve ever done. Ever.

Essentially, It shows what I’m listening to (while I’m scrobbling.) From there, I can click a button that takes me to the FoxyTunes site, where they have the lyrics to the song, Pictures, videos of it live (and if it has an official music video), I can listen to their channel on Pandora, and just generally it’s all good.

The most bad-ass thing about it though is the signature adding. At the bottom of this post, there’s a little section at the bottom where I used FoxyTunes to post what I was jiving to at the time of writing. It’s fucking cool.

You should really check it out, just because it’s so fucking awesome. You can download it (for Firefox) at FoxyTunes.com.

In slightly related news, (going on the music aspect of this post) I called into the NotPop podcast last week. I sounded retarded. But, y’know, hopefully they play it, although it’s littered with ‘Uh’ and ‘Um’. Whatever. It still kicks ass. That’s about all I wanted to say, because I’m listening to The Black Dahlia Murder.

Currently Listening: Nocturnal By The Black Dahlia Murder ‘Of Darkness Spawned’ - (3:22)

I am so fed up with these guys. They’re a heroin needle injecting themselves into the vein of the mainstream.I was looking up information on the world-famous Slipknot, the guys who are responsible for getting the emo kids all hyped up and making them think they’re ‘Metal-Heads.’

I simply typed “Slipknot Sucks” into my good buddy Google - And I got a ton of forum posts. Most of the OPs being retarded, spineless 12-year old trendwhores who have not been properly shown real music. One particular thread caught my eye. This person goes on a mindless tirade against Slipknot with no actual evidence as to why they suck so much dick. Granted, they suck the cock a lot, but this guy doesn’t give any solid reasons besides personal opinion. But I found his list of ‘Better’ bands to be quite intriguing. Here it is, unedited, in all of it’s anti-fanboy glory:

From http://lounge.moviecodec.com:
“there are so many better metal bands out than slipknot!slipknot is like the ps2 of the music world..OVERRATED!

mudvayne
clawfinger
korn
rammstein
drowning pool
metallica

are all way way better metal bands than slipknot”

Notice how everything he notes as ‘Better’ is a Nu-Metal band?
(With the exception of Rammstein, which is an Industrial metal band, but still maintain the same amount of mainstream popularity as other Nu-Metal groups)
But at the very end there… Oh! What’s this? One of the big 4 names in thrash metal is at the bottom of the fucking list? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Seriously, you really have to think about Metallica. I really don’t like them. I like thrash metal. Testament. Sodom. Kreator. Shit, dude, what about Slayer? Anthrax? Megadeth?

Those bands are better than Metallica, simply because they didn’t sell out.

Anthrax: Slowest Album: Sound of White Noise, but that had a lot of really good songs - Thrash classic: Among the Living, and that had Indians, Efilnikufesin, and Caught in a Mosh. - Most recent: We’ve Come for you All, and that had songs like Nobody Knows Anything and What Doesn’t Die.

Then you get Megadeth. Slowest album was Risk - Only because somebody from Metallica (I can’t remember who right now - Was it Lars Ulrich?) told them to take a Risk (where the album name comes from) and do some slower songs. The album was a critical failure. Their thrash classic was Rust In Peace, and has some of the most memorable Megadeth songs of all time, like Hangar 18, Rust In Peace… Polaris, and Take No Prisoners.

Slayer: Their slowest album was South of Heaven. That thing still kicked small children in the face. Their thrash classic was Reign in Blood. Every single song on that fucker was audio rape. If you didn’t have Angel of Death or Postmortem (What this blog is named after!) playing all the time back then, you’re not a metalhead by most people’s standards.

Then you get Metallica. Their slowest album is probably Load or ReLoad, and they both are infected with mind-numbing lyrics as well as terrible song craftsmanship. Their thrash classic (And I’ll have to say, I like Metallica up to this point in their career) was Master of Puppets, though some may argue that any album from this period was a thrash classic. I guess that includes Kill ‘Em All and Ride The Lightning. Then their latest, at this time of writing (because I know they’re coming out with a new one in ‘08) is St. Anger. What the fuck? It has shitty mastering, a terribly flaky sounding snare drum, no guitar solos, a very nu-metal sound, Hetfield’s shitty sounding vocals, as well as just being an altogether terrible album.

At least with the other thrash giants, they’ve never gotten soft. Sure, they’ve had parts of trouble, some albums being mind-blowing and others being sub-par, but Metallica has taken sub-par to another level. Seriously, listen to Battery off of Master of Puppets. Then play the title track off of St. Anger. You’ll see what I mean.

I’ll still buy Metallica’s new album once it drops, because, being the idiot I am, I’m always expecting a ‘Return-To-Roots’ for bands I used to like. Don’t get me wrong, Metallica’s old stuff is awesome. It’s just I don’t think that anything they put out anymore is going to be very fast or aggressive. And unless they prove me wrong with this next album, Metallica still sucks.

I recently spent some ‘quality’ time with the new Thrice CD, entitled “The Alchemy Index: Vols. 1 & 2: Fire & Water.”

First off - What the hell kind of a name is that? Can’t you completely skip the Volume numbers and just go straight to the element names? I bought mine on iTunes - It’s just like some random hard-to-read leather cover instead of what I though woulda been cool - A black cover with a little symbol in the middle signifying what element it was - a red little flame for fire, a blue droplet for water, a green tree for earth, and a silver (it has to be a silver foil stamp, otherwise it’s not my idea) cloud for air. Fire would be brutal, aggressive rock - Water would be songs that are slow in some parts and heavy in some parts, because water flows and crashes - Earth would make use of odd instruments, i was thinking particularly Taiko drums and acoustic guitars to give it a particularly ‘earthy’ feel, as well as not being mixed so meticulously as the others - and Air would be very mellow, making extensive use of atmospheric effects, basically an instrumental acoustic album in the vein of drone metal.

Unfortunately, it’s just a Thrice CD. Yes, it’s interesting - but really, it’s nothing awesome like I planned.

My band’s gonna use my idea. And it’s gonna be better than this.

I was gonna do a song-by-song run through on the tracks, but I don’t have that kinda time.

Oh, and I changed the comment rules on here, so if you want to comment, you can now.

And this is really, really pointless. Computer programming class. Totally. Anyway, I’ll update with cooler stuff later.

I’m back home now, and I’m ready for talking. I am thoroughly sick of people who wear band merch ‘Just Cause They Like It.’ That’s stupid. Let me list these 3 idiots…

Situation 1: I’m walking down a path at lunch. I see this dude with some Iron Maiden Vans on, right? Right. Obviously, I think this guy, because he’s sporting their “merch” - used very loosely in that sense - is a listener, right? Yeah, no, he wasn’t. He was just some random idiot who liked the shoes.

Isn’t the unwritten rule of band merch that you actually have to listen to the band to wear it? Seriously, this guy was listening to rap and stuff. I’m not saying I don’t, but he hated rock, so I doubt he was into metal, let alone into Maiden. He said something along the lines of, “Yeah, go listen to your rock music, raaah raah!” It was at this point I wanted to slit his throat.

Situation 2: I’m in my math class. There’s a chick sporting some yellow and black slip-ons. Right? I look closer, and lo and behold, they’re Circle Jerks Vans. Now, at this point, I’m freaking out - A Chick who likes Circle Jerks, right? Nope. I confronted her about her footwear, and she bought them because she needed to match this particular day. It was then when I noticed her yellow hairclip, yellow sweatshirt, and yellow-rimmed sunglasses. Scene girls these days…

Situation 3: World History. There’s a chick that sits across from me. All the way across the room. She has an AC/DC tote bag. However, her dress is very reminiscent of… Oh, let’s say, Young Jeezy. I talk to her with the intent of bringing up her bag. I bring up music, and to my surprise, she just liked the bag.

And this is how mainstream the music that meant so much to us a few decades ago has become. Obviously, AC/DC is popular. Obviously, everyone has heard of them. But to have them so popular in today’s culture that someone who has no idea what they do is buying their merch purely because ‘they like the bag’ is a huge red flag to me. Especially the Circle Jerks - I don’t think their logo print on an extremely popular shoe brand, not to mention the most popular model, is very ‘Punk Rock.’ It’s probably just giving the scene kids a bad impression of what ‘Punk’ is. To them, and to most of my generation, ‘Punk’ is Good Charlotte, Converse, Ramones and Misfits patches - even when they don’t listen to the music. I like the Misfits - I think Danzig was a better singer than Graves. But I can almost guarantee you that if you ask anyone from my generation with a denim jacket with a Misfits patch the simple question, “Danzig or Graves?” The response you will get is “…What?” The same thing for people with a Ramones patch. If you ask them whether or not they liked ‘Mondo Bizarro,’ the reply will still be the same thing. The same mindless “…What?” that is the current brain capacity of almost all teenagers, it seems.

There is no ‘Being Punk’ anymore. You aren’t punk unless you were born in the 80’s. The kids who say they are - those guys are posers. Real punks weren’t ‘Punk’ just because it was popular, cool, or anything like that. They did it because they liked the music, they agreed with the message it preached, and shared ideals with most others in their group. Punk was a movement. It wasn’t a style. It wasn’t a trend. And it certainly wasn’t extremely mainstream.

These days, there isn’t any hope anymore. Punk’s been dead, and at this rate, will stay dead.

And, by the way - It died as soon as grunge hit the scene.

Well, People have been talking about these remixes of songs from Krankhaus. I’ve looked freaking everywhere for them, and guess what?

They’re available on the official website.

Boy, I’m mad. I’m mad at the level of stupidity I’ve attained.

Anyway, on their site, the link to the Pill Binge remix of Elixir is wrong, so just look around. It’s posted on the Krankhaus Livejournal, so… Look there.