So here we go. Here’s another rant for your ass. I know you don’t care, and neither does anybody else.

I am so fucking sick of retarded chicks. Not like, literally retarded, itt: physically / mentally handicapped. I’m talking about those stupid freaking preppy chicks who talk about nothing but Myspace, scene bands, and hot guys. You know the kind. The ones who wear some awesome band T-Shirt, and turn out to just like the shirt. The only time those chicks will go out with anyone is
A. If they’re scene
B. If they’re scene
C. If they’re scene and hot.

Hey, guess what? I really don’t fucking care about Sonny Moore leaving From First to Last. That band sucked the cock once they were formed, and will continue to suck the cock until they wither and die. Unfortunately, the whiny hardcore kid scene isn’t looking bleak yet. It will die, just like Converse did, back in the day. Do you remember that? When everybody and their grandmothers were wearing fucking CONVERSE? Everybody does, nobody likes to talk about it, because if people found out, oh no, you just lost your friend base. I really don’t care. Please go kill yourself for everybody’s sake.

Yeah, not only that, but there’s this fucking annoying Mexican chick in my Bio class. Wow, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve wanted to slit her fucking throat, I’d be a fucking millionaire.

Unfortunately, I’m a good kid and won’t kill anybody. Not because I’m afraid, but just because I don’t want to get all up ons in legal trouble.

Situation: Biology - Day after Halloween.
Terry’s eating a lollipop. Right, everybody brings candy day after Halloween, blah, blah, blah. Stupid-ass mexican chick keeps complaining about her hunger. She won’t shut the fuck up. At this point, both Terry and I wanted to stomp her face in. She asks Terry for some candy. Sure, why not, etc., etc., she gets a lollipop. Finishes in in approximately 2 seconds, and asks for more. I call her a mooch, and she displays that good old Mexican intellect:
“I don’t even know whut dat means, yo.”
CONGRATULATIONS! You’re a fucking dumbass and deserve to be shipped the fuck back! I start to explain what it is, and her comeback was actually really good. It had the impact, shock, and sting of a cancered panda hitting me with a blow-up hammer.
“Whatever that is, your mom is.”
Holy shit, instant classic. I can’t believe the intensity of that comeback! That was the best one I’ve heard in a long time. How long did it take her to formulate such a burn?

I tell her her comeback was fantastic.
She tells me to shut up, and tells me that I’m a comeback.

I reply with, “If you want my come back, get it off of your mom’s face.”

I win.